His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
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