Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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