Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The power of my boobs compel you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
