Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i will never coherently bang her
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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