dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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