Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
