So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
