found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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