i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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