think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
