i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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