So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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