i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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