Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
