You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
