His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize