Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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