thus making me awesome and them whores
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
