I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
