I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
