Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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