clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
