Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
