It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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