Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
This house was built for laser tag.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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