So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
