Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
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