the condom got lost in my hair
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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