i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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