i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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