Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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