Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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