My brain says no but my pants say off.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All I want is dick and wine.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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