What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
