you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
