Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think people are normalizing furries
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
