I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
