There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
