we should wear snuggies to the strip club
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
