So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
