i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
