I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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