homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
