Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
