why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
