she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
