I should be sponsored by Trojan
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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