rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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