oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
