If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
