There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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