whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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