eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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