Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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