I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
