hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
