I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
