I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
