I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize